Episode 1 of Retsutalk, known as "Pilot" was released on June 27, 2012. In it, slowbeef and Diabetus talked about Prometheus and how excellent it was, as well as a bit on the origins of Let's Play. The episode is 59:29 long.


Warning: Fair bit of text here.

SB: I guess we don't have to sync up any video or anything.

DB: I don't suppose we do.

SB: Alright. Well. [breath] Somebody requested, I think, we did-do a podcast or something, and I have no idea what that entails, so...

DB: No idea what we should even call it.

SB: Um, I think Retsutalk.

DB: Retscast?

SB: Rets-No, Retstalk.

DB: Retstalk. Yeah.

SB: Retstalk.

DB: Retstalk.

SB: We could even have guests later if we wanted.

DB: Retstalk about the title of our podcast.

SB: Okay, well we should do that.

DB: Okay.

SB: Maybe at some point-Maybe we should have done that offline. If-

DB: That'll be the first hour segment of this, actually. Where we, uh-

SB: *laughs* I could-I could squeeze an hour out of that.

DB: I think we could, too. I have a lot of puns in me. [laughs]

SB: [laughs] Well, it's better than other things.

DB: That's-Well, that's, uh, *laughing* that's for the second episode.

SB: *laughing* Speaking of a lot of shit in you, have you seen Prometheus?

DB: I have, actually. I saw it, uh, about a week ago.

SB: Me too. Well, I saw it, um, opening night, Uh, midnight, The day before kinda deal?

DB: Okay, so you cosplayed?

SB: I cosplayed.

DB: Yeah. As what, the headless robot thing?

SB: No, I was, uh-I was, um, Wayland. Actually no, as Utani. The other guy who formed the Wayland-Utani Corporation-

DB: Mhm.

SB: -From the Aliens series.

DB: Mhm, that makes sense

SB: Oh. Should we mention that there's going to be Prometheus *laughing* spoilers in this podcast?

DB: *laughing* Oh, I suppose so.

SB: Okay. Spoiler: This movie's horrible.

DB: Spoilers, It's not very good.

SB: You know, no. I-I'm saying in fact my impression was honestly good not great.

DB: Yeah, I'm kinda the same way; like I left feeling good about it, like about the experience, it was worth the admission price, but it fell well below the expectations I had coming in. Cause you saw the trailer, right?

SB: Oh, the trailer.

DB: I think you showed me the trailer, actually.

SB: I did. My favorite was-My aunt was like "Hey, Here's the trailer for Prometheus" and your response was like "Oh my god, I have to see this."

DB: Yeah, this like looks really fucking good.

SB: Oh yeah, I know. It was like, jaw-dropping good. On the plus like-

DB: Eh...

SB: Yeah... I mean, you have so much potential, you had Ridley Scott coming back, and all that stuff.

DB: Damon Lindelof, he wrote Lost.

SB: Well, I don't know if that's a positive or a negative, but-

DB: Well...

SB: Alright, Lost had good writing, but alright...

DB: Well yeah.

SB: [laughter]I can go on and on about Lost. We'll save that for Chapter 2, but um...

DB: Look, all I'm saying is that Prometheus gave me a great idea for an Olympic sport called the "Post-Op 500 Yard Dash".

SB: [laughter] You know-Well, it's funny because I felt like Prometheus had the same problems as Lost; is they started like asking a lot of big questions and starting up a lot of big plot points, and then not answering any of them in any meaningful way.

DB: But supposedly, this is like the setup for some sort of trilogy, or miniseries?

SB: No, that's bullshit.

DB: Oh really? Like even after the way the movie ended?

SB: Even if it is, like none of the character motivations made a whole lot of sense. I still don't know why David did any of what he did; the robot, you know?

DB: Yeah, he was like-I heard someone say this-He was like a Curious Dennis the Menace?

SB: [laughter] That's pretty good, yeah. No, it's like perfect. Like, his whole character motivation made no fucking sense. Cause if you look at like Alien, right? That robot? The android Ash?

DB: Yeah, there was a clear reason for him to do what he did.

SB: Absolutely. And Bishop? Bishop, he is sort of acting under his own volition, but at least kinda makes sense.

DB: Yeah, but this guy, he just kinda felt like being a dick.

SB: Yeah. And then, so he's just like, "I'm going to infect this guy, cause eh, why not."

DB: Mhm.

SB: And then "PTHH-Whoops, got you pregnant by proxy."

DB: Yeah, was that like part of his whole plan, like, "You know, I bet they're gonna fuck tonight."

SB: But I don't think it was, because this whole thing was, um, he was-Wayland put him on the ship, right? David, the closest thing he had to a son, he was like his daughter.

DB: Yeah, yeah.

SB: And he's like, okay, well, I just-all I want to do is ask god, aka these aliens, if they'll extend my life.

DB: Hmm.

SB: And-But meanwhile, I'm also going to put this robot on the ship just to fuck with everyone cause I'm silly. *small chuckle* I mean, it doesn't make sense. And they no way of knowing even there were like hostile lifeforms, or things could be exploited for bioweaponry on that planet, right?

DB: And that's another thing. They do cutesy talk to the evil cobra things?

SB: [beat, then laughs] Well, that, that was-

DB: *cutesy talk* Who's a cute little lethal snake creature? *yelling* Oh my god it's attacking me why.

SB: Someone pointed out too that biologist, right? So, when they first encounter the dead engineer, you know? The headless one. Keep in mind this guy's a fucking biologist. This should be right up his alley, like "Oh my god a species we've never seen before," and he's like "Fuck this, I'm outta here! I'm going back to the ship, are you with me, geologist guy?" And then they get lost, and it's like this innocuous dead body, but then later in the movie, there's this obviously threatening fucking cobra thing. Y'know-

DB: Obviously threatening.

SB: Yeah, it's like hissing at him and shit! And rearing up like a cobra would and he's like *cutesy talk* "Oh no, it's okay. C'mere little guy."

DB: "Yeah, uh, let's reach out to it. I think we can talk our way through this."












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